bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

thumb_up thumb_down +30

No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There are two monkeys sittingn a bathtub. The first one says, "Scratch my back Mack." The second one says, "That's okay Joe I've got a radio of my own." (laugh like you think it is funny)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a convicted serial killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What do you call Justin Bieber with a penis? A: Darn good plastic surgery.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a horse nibbled a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a man walks into a bar. ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A gentleman walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get for you?" The gentleman replys that he would like a beer. After the bartender fulfils the gentleman's order, the gentleman drinks his beer and enjoys it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you kill a ninja? Shoot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

u jelly?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops