What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the black men chase the chicken ? Because it wondered out of a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's blue and goes blub blub? a blue blub blub

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why did the man beat his wife because he was mean

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Queens Park rangers

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the one horse say to the other. Nothing because horses can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops