A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?"

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

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Q: what do you call a black priest A: Coley s**t

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I was hoping you could tell me–why else would I ask you a question?

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my gave me a game i said thank you

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

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Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't rape, which her sister had experienced while traveling in 2007.

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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Q: What happened to the blonde who tried to commit suicide? A: She died.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and broccoli? A lot.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

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what happened to the boy who crossed the street. he got shot by a bus

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have cancer.

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why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops