What did the leper say to the prostitute? "I am an undercover police office and you're under arrest for prostitution, ma'am."

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What did the peanut say to the jelly

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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I drive a 'rarri

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Q: Ask me if I read the terms of use before I submitted this joke. A: I didnt

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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Why is six scared of seven? Because seven is in his house with an axe.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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TWATFROST HOLOCOSTME sOME MONEY TO GET A BOOB JOB HAHAHAHA BALOWJOB

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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If you driving a jetski and the wheeles fall off how many screws does it take to fix the dog house? BLUE PAINT

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Me: Ask me if in a giraffe You: Are you a giraffe Me: no

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What do you call a man man with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? Bob(he is bobbing in the water)

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What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a mini ? two in the front, two in theback and 96 in the ash tray

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because it could without dying.

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Melbourne Football Club.

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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