- Anti Joke

knock knock who's there your family just died your family just died who? -.-

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

How did superman always save the day? Because he was a fictional tv actor so he could do whatever he wanted to.

knock knock who's there Scott, Scott who, Scott Rollheiser stole my joke and posted it here.

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

roses are red. violets are violet...

A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

What do you call a puppy that has been left in the cold? A puppsicle

roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

There was an american man on the way to work.

What do you say to a black man with a gun? Don't shoot me.

Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

7

While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

Why do Mexicans get made fun of? Because they are Mexican

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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