Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

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Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

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Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

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When im invisible you cant see me, i know

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What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

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Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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What do you call a horse with no legs? Useless.

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Why did thw chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops