Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman notices this rather humorous cliche and proceeds to point it out, laughs are shared by all.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Lizzy doesnt shave or shower. She just went to the bathroom in the middle of the school hallway

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats funnier than 24? 25

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A pig, a chicken, and a cow are born on 3 separate barns. They are raised by old men who subside off the grains of the field. When the animals mature, the farmers will butcher the pig, slaughter the chicken, and gut the cow. The farmer who raised the chicken may enjoy a few eggs first but the animals will all die eventually. Either of natural causes or more likely being butchered for profit. Cows make milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

michael: How old do I look? stranger: about 68? How old are you? michael: I cant remember I have alzheimers. michael: How old do I look?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why didn't the cat eat its supper? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Luke Hardie is G@Y

thumb_up thumb_down -5

dildos are red, vaginas are blue, mother, what have I done to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what the **** is wrong with kieran scotts forhead!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the duck get for Christmas. A potato. Not really it got nothing because it's a duck

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the black man when he was eating a Tootsie Roll? He ate the entire thing but was still hungry due to the empty calories.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the Dinosaur say to the other dinosaur when he saw a huge meteor? Oh hey look a meteor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the hispanic guy say after he took a bite out of a McDonald's hot n' spicy chicken sandwhich. I'm lovin' it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops