What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One of them I like to eat, and the other one is a watermelon.

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Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A: a pizza is a food that was created in italy and is regularly eaten daily around the world and a jew is a religion that is constantly criticized and made fun of because they are different.

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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your mom is so old. she can legally get a senior discount

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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What did the man say to the duck? Nothing ducks don't talk.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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I am on a escalator.

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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What do you call a guy who can't get a girlfriend? Me.

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Q. What's the difference between a Mcdonalds employee and a gynecologist? A. They have different jobs.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding A Duck in your apple! What is worse than finding a duck in your apple? Finding a racist in your apple! Whats worse than finding a racist in your apple? DEATH

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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