Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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how do u kill a black kid ..... stabb him in the face with a nife

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Q. Why did the boy get so fat? A. From playing Pokemon Pearl Edition

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The person below me is weird.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting r.aped by a giant scorpion.

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What's big and white?

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why was ej's penis hard? because he had just got done having fine exquisit sex which he had ejaculated with a sturn body builder name frank who he had been seeing for the past few months.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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what happened to Timmy when he fell off his bike? CANCER.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How do you know that you tv has been stolen? It's no longer there.

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your mother is so fat that she eats a lot of high fat foods.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Knock knock. *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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What do you call a bad anti joke? And anti joke

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Knock knock Who's there? Taco Taco who? Taco bell

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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So a blond is rowing a boat in the middle of the field. It turns out she was insane and was trying to escape from the sanitarium.

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Why could the grandma chew? She couldn't she had no teeth

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Q) How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) It shouldn't take more than one person to do this task, regardless of hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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