A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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A Muslim walks into a bar. BOOM

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You were adopted and I couldn't think of a good way to tell you...

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

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How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died.

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wanna hear a good anti-joke? no, anti-jokes are a waste of time.

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There's two homosexuals having sex in the back of a van...........they're over 21 what's wrong with that!

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Do you want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Why was the 6 year old girl crying? Her step-dad kicked her in the face.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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Sac

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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