How do you turn a broken skateboard into a gleaming Rolls Royce? With magic.

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Why was Mrs. Clause mad at Santa Clause? Because he was hanging out with three hoes, Ho, Ho, and Ho

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, black kid get for Christmas? Modern Warfare 3.

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Greg and Michal once had a fight I lost.

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Why do Jewish people have such big noses? The nucleotides in their DNA are strung together in a certain sequence that makes them have large noses.

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Jimmy wet his pants in class during geography class. The teacher asked: "Oh Jimmy, why did you do that?" Jimmy answered: "I don't know" Everyone laughed at him and Jimmy went home very sad. And with wet pants.

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A. Robin, get in the car.

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So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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Knock Knock! Well come on in!

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What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

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Why do penguins wash their clothes in tide? They don't. As artic-dwelling birds, they don't have access TV or magazines and as such, are impervious to influences via commercials and written advertisements. Also, obvious tuxedo jokes aside, they don't really wear clothes.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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