What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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Q: What is your favorite color? M: Blue

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What's the difference between a teacher and a train? A lot.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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a cat and a duck walk into a pub. the cat enters first and says for the duck to put all of their drinks on his bill. the duck(being a duck)says nothing because ducks cannot speak. therefore the cat shouldnt have been speaking either.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're a faggot.

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A Mexican, an Italian and an American all walk into a bar. They order their drinks and have pleasant conversation, and all return home to loving families safely and securely.

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We live in a world.... Yeah its called Earth.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

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So tell me what’s worse than a baby? A dead baby… Well then what’s worse than a dead baby? A pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a pile of dead babies? A live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies… And what’s worse than a live baby sitting on top of a pile of dead babies? A live baby eating it’s way out of a pile of dead babies…

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my candy brings all the kids to the yard and i'm like- get in the van.

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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what did the horse say after the man told him to have a good day? nothing, horses dont talk.(:

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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why is everyone always picking on ruth? because they just do

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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What was the energizer bunny arrested for? Rape.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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