What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Yo Mama so slow She can't run very fast.

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A man walks into a bar. He has suffered from a concussion and is now in the emergency room.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a dick you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now,

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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How do you kill zombie Jesus? You can't.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. My thumb is red because I accidentally put it in the toaster.

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

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Why did the kid cry? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do Jews always complain & want money for? Anything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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