Q: why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A: because it was dead

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bipolar NO I'M NOT!!

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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A moose walks into a grocery store. It goes up to the clerk and asks, "do you guys have any potatoes?" the clerk replies oh yeah they're in isle... Ooooh wait a second. You're a moose. The moose responds, "Yes, indeed I am." The clerk then says "Oh ok, isle seven."

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what do poor black guy and poor white guy have in common..................................................... their poor

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a registered sex offender.

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you know you are a prostatute when your report car is full of Ds

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why did the girl cross the road? to commit suicide

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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If Michael Jackson were alive today, what would he be doing? Scratching at the top of his coffin.

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Hello, I'm David and I just stabbed my aunt in the eye. Just kidding, my name isn't David. That was an Aunt Eye(anti) joke.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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YOLO You only like Oreos

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Why did the Iraqi cross the road? Because he was hired by the CIA as an undercover operative to lead them to a highly dangerous target in the small town of Aziziyah and was leaving the area to avoid the impending Pavelow strike on the town center.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Q: What does Chinese look like? A:Chinese

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Why did Margret eat the banana? She was hungry.

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Your Momma's so ugly, she went to the grocery store, and went she got out of her car, people said, "You're ugly."

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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