Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Roses are Red You're Black and Blue My fists seemed to have taken A liking to you

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A nun with shoes on walks into a bar with her husband.

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What did the duck say to the flag? NOTHING DUCKS CANT SPEAK or flags

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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What would Michael Jackson do if he were in a room full of kids? Nothing, he's dead.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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Why didn't God show up to Jesus' bar mitzvah? Because he doesn't exist.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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Chuck norris doesnt mow his lawn, He calls someone to do it for him and then he pays them a great deal of money considering he has a large lawn.

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What name does Steve Bartman go by Now? Steve Bartman, but he just hides all day trying not to be killed.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

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Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

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What did paul say to bill? "Hi, I'm Paul"

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a kangaroo? A hybrid combination of the two that is characterized by specific traits of both animals.

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What's the difference between a taxidermist and an astronomer ? They have a different job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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