Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

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This is not a joke

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What did the munchy alzhemiers farmer say about his missing tractor? Where's my tators?

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yo mama so ugly she made a happy meal frown.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Knock Knock Sorry, I'm in a full body cast and can't answer the door.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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why cant monkeys swim? cause they dont have staberlizers.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

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Two tomatoes walk across the street and manage to get over safely. COME ON MUSTARD!

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a gay couple walks into a bar and get a drink

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HEY YOU!!!!

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Chantelle, I loved you, but you cheated with Johnathan from Church...

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Rick santorum

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Why was 2 afraid of 3? Because 345!!!!!

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Docter Docter who? Yes its me, Craig Who your docter, I have the test results back Im afriad its positive,you've only got a few months left

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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U mad?

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An Asian man, a black man, and a gay man walk into a bar. They all buy the same drink, are charged the same price and say " We are all equal! " They then continue on with their days normaly.

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I always wanted to know what the future will hold in the decades to come... Until I realized the idiotness of my own thought for it is nigh impossible for us humans to see the future... Except... That the ancient Mayan civilization prophesized the end of the universe, which I did take into consideration as I slowly nibbled my way through the waffle cone till I had realized that I had reached the paper surrounding the cone and immediately spat it out for it leaves a fowl taste In my mouth, then continued eating my ice cream as I pondered the future and the anti-climatic ending of this anti-joke.

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Two cows are in a field. One says to the other, "are you worried about this mad cow disease that's going around?" The other replies, "I'm not worried - I'm a squirrel."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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