Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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Why was the guy shot? He was a soldier in World War 2. Lots of people were shot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What do a spoon and a platypus have in common? Nothing.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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you know what ice cream's made out of, right? milk.

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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Why aren't elephants allowed in public pools? Because they are elephants.

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Whats Black White and Red all over? oh, wait. what time were we supposed to meet that landlord?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (a police officer steps in and says): What is red and green and peed all over? I dont know Im sorry to say, but its your mother. A group of teens killed her and defiled her body with urine. She was wearing green.

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TOBUSCUS

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Charlotte Bobcats

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Q. why are black people so good at sports? A. Hardwork and dedication.

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The police officers involved were fired and sued by the family, ruining their lives. Months later they both committed suicide.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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What's worse than finding a pickle in a jar? Finding Snooki in a jar.

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Q: Why did the little Canadian girl start crying ? A: Because her mum through a fridge at her.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops