There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We don't know if he even did, how would we know why? There were no cameras at the intersection he crossed at. Therefor the question is unanswerable. Unless the chicken admits to it........ ........ Chickens can't talk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Go home and hang yourself.

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Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

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Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

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jamie looks at jacob for arousment. jacob looks at his dog.........

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What's worse than stepping on a snail? Stepping on a bear trap.

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whats worse than school? Summer school

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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what did binladin say when he got to hell? oh no. im in hell

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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James: They say attitudes are contagious. Bill: How do you know? James: My whole family caught it and they will all die within 2 weeks.

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Why did the man go to sleep at 9:30? Because his mom told him to

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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good one jess !!

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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more chocolate?

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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What do you call a woman with no arms or legs that fell off a boat fucked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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