Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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When you give your homecoming date flowers, you're really handing them a bouquet of sex organs

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A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

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Gingers.

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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7

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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"Spell 'horse'" "H-O-U-Z-E" "No, that's incorrect. You failed the spelling test, you stupid fool."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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How do you stop a bus You throw a fridge at it

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A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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What did the gay man do last night? Had a curry

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What happens when a jewish man, black man, asian and an amish man get on the same plane heading to Chicago? The reach their destinations safely and go their separate ways.

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A man walks into a bar, has a drink, pays the bartender, and leaves.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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