A blond went to a barber to get her hair cut. She had her ear phones in and tolled the barber not to take her ear phones out at all. So the barber was swiching her ear phones to cut her hair then she fell asleep so the barber took both of her ear phones off for a minute and then she died

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did OJ Simpson say to the blonde? "Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When im invisible you cant see me, i know

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldnt she get up? She had no legs. Knock Knock. Whos There? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Row row row your boat Right to KFC Put some kool-aid in your cup And toast to you and me

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +3

hickory dickory dock no one cares

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are Red Violets are dog I'm Senile Flower tastes like frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He looks it up first to make sure he's got it right before dialing.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the girl say to the mute? "Why are you so quiet?" How did the mute respond? He flipped her off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops