What's that in the road.... a-head?

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Zombies eat brains! (You're safe)

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an egg? Ones delicious with bacon, the others an egg.

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Why did the koahla fall out of the tree? It died.

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This is my first joke don't ????mine. You did didn't you.

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Whats worse than jizzing while your on a date? Shitting in you pants while your on a date.

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Jesus sacrificed his life to prove that he was immortal. So where does the part where he gets nailed to a stick and beaten the shit out of fit in?

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait; it would be quite unsanitary to talk about my genitals in front of you.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

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I walked in ony my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was an object of great appeal to him on the other side.

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why did the bus crash the driver was an alcoholic and was drunk he killed 8 people upon impact.

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What is blue and flies across the room? A baby with a punctured lung.

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The time and place do not matter because I'm a lesbian.

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Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

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This guy goes to the ball game. He waits in line at the concession stand and gets a footlong hot dog and a giant orange soda. Then he makes his way around to his section of the stadium, and works his way to his seat, which is in the center of the row. Right when he's about to take a bite of his hot dog, when he hears someone in the seats way up behind him yell "Hey! Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, and sets down his giant orange drink, stands up and turns around, scanning the crowd. Eventually he sits back down. He picks up his hot dog, picks up his giant orange drink, and is just about to take a bike when he hears it again, someone way up behind him yelling "Hey! Mike!". So, he sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, and scans the hundreds of faces in the seats behind him. After a while, he sits back down. Then, right when he's about to bite into his hot dog, he hears someone behind him yelling "Mike! Hey, Mike!" He sets down his hot dog, sets down his giant orange drink, stands up, turns around, cups his hands around his mouth and yells as loud as he can, "My name's not Mike!"

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So this beautiful woman goes to see her doctor and says "Doctor i think i have a fever." the doctor replies "I think I've got just what you need. open your mouth." The woman opened her mouth and the doctor gave her some Advil "This should help your fever. that will be $300." in shock the woman said "these prices are to high."

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today a nazi canadian killed himself the world is now a better place

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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