Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

So a bunch of blondes are in a group and a murder comes by and sais, "if you want to live, answer a question right." so the blondes pick there smartest on. the first question is, what is 9+4... the blonde answers five, the crowd goes "give her another chance giver her another chance, same thing happens, she gets it wrong and the crowd goes "give her another chance, give her another chance." the murderer sais "ok fine this is your final guess, what is 2+2" the blonde goes "uuhhhhhh... 4?" And the whole crowd goes "give her another chance give her another chance

Why did the black guy flunk out of school? Because his socio-economic conditions and his lack of support from his parents didn't provide optimal learning conditions.

Roses are Red, Blues are Violets, Have I Dyslexia, F**k.

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What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

what's funnier then 33? actually there's a plenty of things, just have to think about it

How did the man die? He was killed alive.

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

How do you kill 1000 Ethiopians? Push 1000 Ethiopians off a cliff

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he was stupid.

Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

Jaden McMichael

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

Why can't Johnny run? He has no legs.

Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

What did the Mexican get for christmas? Nothing, he was caught sneaking over the border in November.

Some blind tall guy asked a rich dude about time when the rich dude looked at his klock he remembred many things in his ugly terrible life so he said to the blind guy : its 5PM

whats green andthrows forks at you? a blonde painted green in a bush wih a gun and a fly on her eye

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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