What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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I just farted, and now I have to Chit!

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How do you upset an Mexican? Kill his entire family.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Crap, I already messed up the joke.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

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How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

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whats worse then being a black kid with out a father? is not that bad it happens all the time

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Why did the man die? Because he was unpopular and someone killed him with a gun. He is now dead. RIP.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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