A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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How do you spell eight? 8

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Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Why did the black man get pulled over by a cop? He was driving 12 miles over the speed limit.

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how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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What do you call a fat person with no friends? An individual who is over the expected weight of a person their age, who finds themselves disliked by people in their s surroundings, possibly due to their weight problem, but also it may be because of any personality defects they may have, or they simply may prefer to be alone.

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Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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Q: What is better than sex? A: A relationship where you can be completely intimate with your partner

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What is worse than running away from a rapist? Getting raped by a rapist.

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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who was the alien over LA? adalia rose

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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