Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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you and your family will die tonight

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How did Princess Diana cross the road? Through the windshield

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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What did the T-rex say to the elephant? i like bananas

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what's one thing we're all tired of but they still make? Those crappy love songs.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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what did one cupcake say to the other cupcake? nothing because they were both cupcakes.

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What's the difference between working at Mc Donalds and working as a hooker? A hooker gets paid more.

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okay i know you read this far but this is the turning point

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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A Mexican, a black guy, and a Muslim are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving? Their friend Keith.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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A muslim walks pass a bomb shop on his way to the international peace club.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Three men are travelling in a hot-air balloon, but it starts to go down over an uninhabitable desert. One of the men must sacrifice himself to save the other two by jumping overboard to reduce the weight in the balloon. Nobody is brave enough to volunteer, and they all die painful deaths.

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What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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What does the rubbish do when it is depressed? It breaks down.

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Snooki

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What happens when a scientist tells you a lie? It's not true.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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