what happens when chuck norris does a push up. he pushes himself up

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock come back later i'm taking a shower!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a Jewish wanna be gangster? Drake

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock, knock Who's there? It's me Me who? Just open your damn door funny guy it's freezing out here

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

yo mamma is so stupid she failed high school

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yeah, it makes sense if you think about it, I changed my alias back and forth from Axel Knight, to Axel White, first because Axel White sounded not only as a opposite to Nero, but also because it sounded like something a Nazi leader would call himself, we went renegade and used that in order to draw in and bust a lot of Neo Nazi`s with enough money and bad intentions to make bad stuff happen. But thats another story, I heard about an Axel Knight partaking in Point Zero, had I known you where the leader (I hope you are being honest friend) I would have warned you much sooner, but there was no way for me to know if you where working together... Since you literally where.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does 1 black person on the moon mean? A problem. What do 2 black people on the moon mean? A problem. What does every black person on the world on the moon mean? It's still a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A cat jumped out of a tree. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: What is the leading cause of pedophilia? A: Sexy children.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's five times 10? Sixty, you retarded fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

racism...deal with it!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses only the finest ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

UNICORNZ R PURPUL

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock. Knock. Who's there? lettuce lettuce who? Lett-uce be friends

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops