Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between Hitler and Stalin? Nothing because pineapples aren't vegetables.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the black guy enter the room? He was too large to fit through the doorway therefore he turned around and left

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You know what they say about men with big feet? Big penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Im going to the patriots jets game this year..... When the kick a feild goal and you see two kids wearing lime green holding up a poster that says BRADY LIKES SAGGY BALLS that will be me and my friend -RT

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock Who's there Banana Bananas can't talk. Crap he's on to me

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong sock this morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops