What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.

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What's worse than losing $100 at the racetrack? Losing at Russian Roulette

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What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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You know I can, and I already have, as once the mind knows its getting certain medications, it spends the energy required in order to achieve the effect, this is what psychiatrists and those assholes would call "psychological effect". With that said, I am still tired, and the stimulants are waking up my ouchies too, so I think ill get some sleep and dont worry, I can sleep with any stimulants as long as I can use my mind. By the way, my "hypnosis senses" are not hypnosis by themselves, but in order to hypnotize oneself and other, one must learn to read body language and stuff like that, something which I now do subconciously because I am experienced. Alice is calm again, her hands are shaking but she is cold, I am pretty sure she is far more tired than I am, so I kinda ordered her to go home, this guy can type for me. Just want you to know that I am doing fine now, and that the PTSD is much less severe than before as my brain no longer remembers the voice and looks my parents had back then, so I just feel my nose getting punched and breaking, its... Surprisingly annoying, so ill get some sleep, if nothing else it will help Alice get better, and I wont lie, I need it.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Why did the little boy enter the white van, then leave scarred for life? He was going on a family trip within the said white van, but along the way they got in a horrible accident which involved a bus, a tractor, and finally a steamroller. The boy quickly escaped at the last second only to watch his family scream as the steamroller slowly crushed the van where they were trapped inside. He then broke down into tears and depression and finished it all by jumping off a bridge. It was a truly tragic incident.

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Ask me if my name is Jennifer. Is your name Jennifer? No.

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How many women does it take to replace a light bulb? Please advise. Thanks, Holly

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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what do you call a black person in the dark? ........invisible

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whats red with blue spots and is highly inteligent? an apple. i lied to you and am sorry

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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Pineapple.

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The horses name was Friday.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -John. -Hey John, come on in.

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What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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