When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

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What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

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what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

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I want to tie a baby to the back of a truck then reverse into a wall.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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gabbi nunez ;)

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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good one jess !!

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Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

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Q: why do the Toronto maple leafs suck? A: they dont they r in seventh place biotch!

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If the best things in life are free, whats the hardest things in life? Death.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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Why did the white girl fuck the mexican? Because her teacher told her to do an "essay"

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if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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what do you think when you see someone throw a man with no arms and legs into the ocean? chances of survival are minimal

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Q: why was the women out of the kitchen? A: Probably to partake in one of her many hobbies.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had places to be

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops