What did the soldier say when he got shot in the face? Nothing, he died.

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

School

Whats brown and sticky? A stick

Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

Knock, knock! Who's there? interupting little turtle interupting little tur... LITTLE TURTLE!

Whats green and has wheels? A green honda

Why couldn't the kid eat candy? He had diabetes, so he could put himself in danger and possibly result in death which would leave the family torn apart and all committing suicide in a matter of 10 years.

How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

Knock Knock! Well come on in!

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Dyeing of cancer.

Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

What did the man get when he returned from Africa? AIDS

what do you call a blond who likes human flesh a cannibal

joke

Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

Knock knock Who's there? I eat myp.

What's green and looks like a red apple? A green apple

your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

Whats green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A golf course

Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...