How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

How did the prisoner escape from prison? He asked to leave.

I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

You shouldn't have expectations. They make ex out of pect and tations.

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

Why did the fisherman die on a fishing trip? He had a heart attack.

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What did the chicken say when it crossed the road? Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

Two gorillas swing into a bar and are promptly escorted out because the gorillas are alcoholics.

roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

Brooklyn Nets or New Jersey Nets? Theres a difference

Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

I what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I don't have 10 watermelons in my basement.

How do you stop a vehicle moving at high speeds? Apply the brakes in a reasonable fashion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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