Two men walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

What's the cookie monster's favorite kind of cookie? Oreos

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and oranges? With one,you can make a delicous smoothie, but the other is just a pile of citrus fruits.

A Irishman walks into a bar... he suffers severe head injuries.

wanna hear a joke? asians with t i t s

Did the boy ever tell you how he died? Trick questions he's dead, deceased bodies can't talk.

Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

yo mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, 200 l.b.s

Q. How did the blind man savvier from walking of a cliff? A. He didn't he died.

What really puts a kick into both my life and the lives of others around me? My leg(s) of which recieves messages from a sophisticated bundle of "wires" in my cranium that enables it to act at all.

You: Mike and Steve were playing chess, who won? Them: Mike You: no, it was steve

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Doctor, I am afraid of doctors, I dont even dare seek them up. Janitor: Thats quite apparent... Dr.Moral:

Three guys went barhopping. One slipped and broke his dick.

How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

What do you call a man who has Alzheimer's? Wait what am I doing?

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

Roses are red Violets are blue Does this cloth smell like chloroform to you!

Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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