Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

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What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of shit? The black guy is a sentient human being, and the bucket of shit is just a metal container filled with feces

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What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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What's black, white, and red all over? The color scheme. Except for the black and white. They're shades.

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KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

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Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

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why wouldn't the printer work? because there was an animal in it.

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What did the gay guy get at the grocery store? A tub of Häagen-Dazs ice cream because he thought he deserved a treat.

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What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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Why are all women bad drivers? All of them aren't.

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Harry Styles

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Psychics.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Guess what? Holocaust

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops