A horse walks into a bar. "Rough day?" says the bartender. UUUNNNHHHHH!

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A human pretending to be a dog A human pretending to be a dog who? Errr...I mean...woof

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he found a crosswalk with a walk symbol near his destination.

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Why was a group of children being driven away by a black man? Michael was the students bus driver, he was taking them to the zoo.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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I get no respect at all. That's because I am a liar and a thief with no redeeming qualities.

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Why wasn't jimmy at Paul's party? He died in a fatal car crash and flew out y The windshield and landed in boiling oil then a dog ate him.

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What's green and blue that is shaped like the earth? The earth

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How did the jew win a marathon? Through hard vigorous training by running everyday and eating healthy.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody cause your a loser.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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your mother hates you

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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Your time.

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i am and me is i

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was feeling suicidal due to an existential crisis.

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What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.

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Statistically speaking, one out if every seven dwarves are unhappy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops