Why did the little boy drown? He was stapled to a whale.

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

JAMIE STEGMAN IS A MASSSIVE DERP Jess Pots. YOUR A NOOB

Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

how do you get a clown off a swing??? hit him in the back with an ax!

A squirrel runs into a bar and out-runs the bartender to get some assorted nuts on the table then runs out of the bar

What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

Why are Asians so good at mathematics? Practice.

What's worse than finding a worm in you apple? The holocaust.

Give me thumbs up!

why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

What do you get when you mix a dog with a pool table? I don't know.

go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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