What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How do you make a tissue dance? Blow a little boogie in it!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Not sure, its just a really rare combination, people tell me stuff like "oh they are really bright brown" like hell they are, I mean sorry but the hell they are. I prefer it the way you say it, they are red, really really red, and you do not say it as if I had something to be ashamed off.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why are black people so tall? Because their parents were

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting thrown in to a car and raped violently.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they are all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Michael Castillo is gay

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the man do after he rented a movie? He watched it

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the little girl sad? Because she was brutally raped up the ass

thumb_up thumb_down +26

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock whos there? knock knock whos there knock knock you final decide to open the door to find a deaf man needing directions.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Jim: "Hey guess what" Bill: "What" Jim: "George Bush got reelected" *Bill proceeds to throw himself into the Atlantic Ocean.*

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock. Racism.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than a dead baby? 2 dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. Whats green jumps up and down and then red? A.A frog in a mixer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops