Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Friends are like potatoes. If you eat them, they die.

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How do you kill a blonde? Cut off the bloodflow to their vital organs.

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what do abortion and a coat hanger have in common? they both contain 4 vowels

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Why is Obama the Antichrist? Salad.

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Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? Because she was a mother catering her child's sporting event.

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What's big, red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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A black man has 100 problems. on his AP calculus test.

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What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold clima I guess this was just a waste of time.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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i used to be gay. now i am bisexual.

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Your Mom is so fat... I'm sorry I didn't mean that.. I have abandonment issues.

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How do you kill an Asian? Poke him with a large fork until hes dead.

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I like it in the butt. - Tyler James Nehring. Call me if you want to give me the d. 863-670-1547

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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