What's worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Ebola

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How do you make a model ugly? you shoot her in the face.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

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Roses are red, white, pink, and many other colors. Violets similarly display many color variations due to generations of ardent florists.

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i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.

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roses are violets red is blue i like doughnuts doughnuts are good

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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What did the sting ray say to steve irwin? It doesn't matter , steve irwin is dead, dead as a doormat.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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tight butthole 4 lyfe.

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What did the bartender say to the bugatti owner? "Don't drink and drive"

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Q. What's green, has wheels and flies? A. A garbage truck.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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What was the last thing the clown said to his wife before she died? Rebecca, just stay with me, the ambulance is almost here.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Herpes, Now you do too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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