Why did no one throw a fridge at the boy on the swing? Because fridges are heavy.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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You're welcome!

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What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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Why don't elderly people act their age? because they die.

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How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

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Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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Why are all blondes dumb? They are not all dumb but constant bullying just saying blondes are just pretty gives them that illogical stereo type

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A guy asked his Girlfriend to marry him. She said Hey! a Dump Truck! and the mental Boyfriend forgot all about the Proposal and was amazed by the Dump Truck.

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hi will

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Call of Duty is Awesome So is fingering a dead lion with an iron dildo

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven murdered sixes wife and kids and said he was next.

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Sally sold seashells by the seashore but she didnt make any money of course. seashells on the shore can be picked up off the beach for free

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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