- Anti Joke

What has three eyes, scales, seventeen stomachs, and can produce milk? Nothing. Nature has not yet evolved any animal to these specifications.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

A white guy a black guy and a mexican are all on a trian. The white guy says "We should all through something off the train that we have too much of in this country." The mexican throws a sombraro of the train and says " We have too many of these in this country." The black guy throws a gun off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country." The white guy pushes the mexican off the train and says "We have too many of these in this country.

How do you trap a squirrel? You carefully set up a trap and place acorns in the trap.

question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

roses are head mydick is blue i live in somolia and i killed all the jews

Scott Gomez

What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

In soviet russia, roses are violet

What did the janitor have for breakfast? Food

Did you hear about the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13 for sexual content/nudity, language, and some violence.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Your mum. Your mum who? Dinner is ready, come down stairs.

how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

what do you get when you cross an African with a Rhinoceros? A rhinoceros.

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

Jimmy and Ted are racing each other at the end ov the street. Jimmy is taller and thinner but Ted has more endurance. Who wins the race? A: the drunk driver

Netflix and chill

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball. Super Monkey Ball who? No wonder it's super.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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