- Anti Joke

Quick its the weed hide the cops! ... wait...

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer..... I'm going to rip the scalp off of your son and where it on my face to a Cherokee Sacrificial Ceremony The other lawyer was actually a lightbulb

A Jew and a German walk into a bar.

Sorry not thinking here, of course I will arrive sooner, give me 20 minutes or so (got to scout the area, you never know) As for coding, there is no hidden meaning so yeah... That is probably some "Neronist" coding format I never knew of I am using so well. Cant drive like this, so I will use a cab and wait for you at the back seat or something, I will let the Taxi cab honk the numbers of code here so you can come out knowing its safe. I sincerely thought you where at the home, according to our coordinates you are... Dont tell me that bastard built some basement over there, wow! I really miss him now, if nothing else because I would have liked a wine cellar made in less than... Sorry, ill be there asap, 20 minutes or less, nah, believe me, "fancy" is the least of things I want, and I wont be changing my mind anytime soon. See ya. I am sincerely surprised you even remember me, then again I look a lot like your crush. Abel (in case you where wondering, this is not my name either, but you get the picture by now)

why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

why does column have a letter n?

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

Are you gay? No. Ok.

Whats worse than dying? Nothing.....?

Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

Yo mamma is so weird most people try to avoid her.

Did you hear about the mail man without a mail truck? He walked

Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

Q: Do you know what really makes me smile? A: Facial Muscles.

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

Q: Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? A: A couple of pigs with questionable carpenter's skills, and maybe Red Riding Hood. Grandma wasn't so lucky.

What do you call a black man with a gun? A cop

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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