Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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your momma is so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes

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What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork.

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A man is about to rape a girl. Before penetration he carefully and correctly applies a condom as he practices safe sex and is not yet ready to father a child.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

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What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

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Why did the boy go to the CONCENTRATION camp. He was a Jew

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I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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What are the two things that the little boy with cancer wants for Christmas? He wants his cancer to go away. He also wants the new Halo game.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmer's daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soy-bean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture remover's van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam, caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Jenny tried out for the school play. She got a callback the next day. Her father had died.

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shut up iggy

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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Why was the boy hit by a bus? Because the driver is a homicidal sociopath.

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how do you confuse a blond? put them in a circle room and tell them to sit in the corner

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What did one skeleton say to the other? Nothing... Skeletons don't have vocal cords

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops