A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Hey dude, wanna come with me!!!! Sure, where? ON YOUR FACE!!!!!! -_- ........ok sure why not

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Did u hear what happened to that man with no arms and no legs who tried to play water polo? No, what happened He drowned....

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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rishi is gay (coventry england)

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adam sucks off disabled old men for a pac of biscuits

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why was the boy sleeping in the basement? he was brought over from ethiopia to become a child sex slave and was now being help against his will in a basement

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Q: Whats the difference between a friend and a bestfriend? A: The other one has best in front of it dumb A$$

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What did Helen Keller do when she found a dead body? Nothing.

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Q:Which do you take out more...trash or recycle? A: Greenery

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone dropped a refrigerator on her. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the skeleton say when he was horny? Nothing. Skeletons are not living and therefore cannot be horny.

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Whats so funny? Josh nash's face

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Mary had a big white van, a big white van, a big white van, Mary had a big white van, where did my friend go? (sing the song)

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- kellen says to bill "your a fruit cake" - bill say to raj "your a gypsy" - raj says to kellen "you have gingevitis" R.I.P kellen 2012

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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Why did the old woman fall down She got shot

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your momma is so fat that she thinks someone hugs her each time she passes through a door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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