SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the paraplegic roll his wheelchair up a steep hill? Because he's crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Brunette a ginger and a blonde were getting their hair done? WHich side of the bus did they sit on? Why did i put a question mark on the first part?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A woman walks into the kitchen to make a sandwich because she is hungry and she likes sandwiches.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mother is so fat when she jumps she comes backs down.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

two men are sitting in a desk next to each other learning math when the equation 22+1 came up. the frist man says to the second, "24" and they both giggled. the second guy then slips his lips over the the first guy and whispers, "hey, i just thought of something funnier than 24" to which the first replies with a slight of laughter, "lemme hear it." so the second says with laughter "25".

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

thumb_up thumb_down +4

HI MY NAME IS DOUG

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Breanna baked a pie. what kind of pie was it? A JIMMY PAI

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is worse than adolf hitler? Justin beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When you are swimming across the ocean, and you lose your wheels, what's the difference between a duck? ... Because bananas have no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever listened to the smell of the color 9? It tastes like freedom!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

thumb_up thumb_down +2

- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops