Knock Knock whose there brian Brian who oh because im chinese you assume my second name is Hu? terribly sorry theres been a misunderstanding, i was asking you surname, i should have been more specific! No it my fault, i dont know why i overreacted my second name is Hu its ok, what can i do for you? is it allright to come in for some noodles? are you paying? only a reasonable price ok then, dont see why not

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an ant walks into my aunt.... the ant took a dump

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A little boy ran to the pool to see how long he could hold his breath. He slipped and fractured his skull.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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how do you make your mom mad? mushroom stamp her face

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is black.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? she got a fridge thrown at her

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And the Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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Why did the cow say moo? Because all cows say moo

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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I'm a necrophiliac. Keep watch over your dead friends... ;)

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Why did the fat man go to America? Because he was excited to get of work for vacation.

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What's Red and Invisible? No Tomatos

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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A man walks into a bra. Bra kills him...

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

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Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops