How do you get a jew out of an empty pool? Give him a lader

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roses are red violets are blue i have alziemers what are we talking about again

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What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings. Now hats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Three bee stings.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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A

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

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Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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What did the boy with no social skills say to the bully? I KNOW U ARE BUT WHAT AM I

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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hy-way is-way is-thay oke-jay pelled-say eird-way? ecause-bay its-way in-way IGLATIN-PAY

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Knock knock Who's there? Batman Batman who? Because he was

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What did the red cat say to his owner? Nothing.

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jewish man and a pizza? A: Jew's are humans and can feel emotions, as for pizza's can not feel emotions, because they are pizzas.

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What's worse than finding a Worm in your Apple? being Mauled to death.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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