What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

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What did Winnie the Pooh say to Eeyore? Nothing, he just suffocated him in a pot of honey.

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Why did 16-year-old girl scream in the basement? She was being raped.

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What did the autistic child say to the doctor? Nothing. His condition is so severe that he is mute and may never talk for the rest of his life.

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Why cant Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he is married.

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What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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What do you do when a black man points a gun at your face? you do what he tells you to do.

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Q. What do you tell a women with two black eyes? A. Stop pissing him off!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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why did the kid cross the road he didnt he had no legs

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What happens when Darth Vader farts? Nothing. Darth Vader's butt was burned off on the volcanic planet of Mustafar and he fell into a lava pit. Darth Vader has since started a program called Darth Vader's butt replacement research foundation. Please donate money today. You could be changing a buttless person's life. Thank you very much.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Q: What did the alcoholic get for his Birthday?\ A: A Jail Sentence

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Why is the duck? Because it has two feet the same.

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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Why did the homeless man kill his dog? Because a drunk rich guy said he'd pay him a hundred dollars if he did.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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