This one time at band camp....

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Knock Knock Yes?

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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A caterpillar and its mom (a butterfly) come upon a lion eating an antelope. The caterpillar says "Mom, why is the lion so mean to the antelope?" The mom replies: "it's the circle of life." The next day, the caterpillar and his mom witness a bird of prey swooping down and eating a mouse. The caterpillar asks why the bird of prey is so mean and the mom responds by saying its the circle of life. The next day, the caterpillar and its mom come across a trail of dead animals. They follow the trail to the end where they see a great lion. The mom opens her mouth to say its the circle of life when her son jumps up and eats the lion. THE END.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A: We're eating you for breakfast today. B: Thank you, I'll have my arm.

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The joke below is absolute shit.

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Why didn't the blind girl go to the party? She wasn't invited!

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What swims in the ocean? Fish

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Q: What's worse than 5,000,000 African Americans being killed? A: 1 White person being killed

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree He had no limbs

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock.. Whose there? Not Sara

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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Q: Why did the little girl scream? A: She didn't have a rape whistle.

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(402)217-6102 that is Jesse

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When Kylie and Conner have a baby he will have a centimeter Schmeter!

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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how many aliens does it take to change a light bulb? i wouldn't know, i have never seen one and there is the off chance that they don't even exist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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