Not everyone with a mustache is a child molester, but not every child molester has a mustache.

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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A mosquito flies into a bar and orders a bloody mary, the bartender then takes out a swatter and kills the pest. Noticing the event, the patrons cheer and continued drinking their frothy beverage. Minutes later, the phone rings and the bartender answers the phone. "Hello?" "Hi, I'm looking for a friend of mine, is he there?" "Let me check, by the way, what's his name?" "Jack Hoff" "One sec. HEY FELLAS(yelling over the noisy bar), IS THERE A JACK HOFF HERE? I NEED A JACK HOFF! ANYONE?" Mr. Hoff, sitting at the bar hears this and asks, "who is it?" "He said he's a friend of yours!" "Which one?" " He said his name's Dick Stroker and he needs help on something hardhe'll meet you around back." "Oh ok, thanks."

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A man see's a bird and tries to get its attention by whistling at it, much like if it were a dog. The mans whistle fails to get the birds attention because birds have wings and dogs do not.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? I am.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Knock knock Who's there? Sergeant Sergeant who? Sergeant John Clancy. I regret to inform you that Billy your son has just unfortunately been killed in the electronic fan factory in which he works.

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My butt!!!!!!!!

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What did Susie get for Christmas? AIDS.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I told you she was my Mom, but that didn't stop you!

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--Knock Knock Who's there? --Banana Banana who? --Knock Knock You just said that --Sorry i have Alzheimer's

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What' do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's puzsy

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What's worse than 10 babies in one trash can? One baby in 10 trash cans.

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XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

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its snowing on mount fuji

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

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Donald Trump

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There is a blonde a Burnett and a red head. Life goes on.

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like this joke for a free ipod nano or a dead baby ?

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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Why did the kid fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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