What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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How do you make a Jew cry? You kill all of their friends and family members.

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why was little jimmy sad? he had a frog stapled to his mouth why did little jimmy drop his ice cream cone? he got hit by a bus why did little jimmy fall of the swingset? he didnt have any arms what did little jimmy want for Christmas? parents what did he get for Christmas? cancer knock knock whos there? not jimmy

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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A bear walked into a bar, unfortunately there were no survivors.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Why did the irishman go to the bar? because he was a designated driver and was picking up his friend.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench. A bench is wooden while a black guy has a human body composed of mostly water.

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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"KNOCK KNOCK". I opened the door to greet my guests for the party.

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What do you call a retarded black man? His name

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matt f stupid because no one likes him

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A black man, Jew, and Asian walk into a bar... What does the bartender say? get out.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

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what do u call a black person by his name

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- What has 2 legs and is bleeding ? - A dog cut in two.

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Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

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Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

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Why didn't the man have a vagina? Trick Question. Everybody has a vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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