A man spots Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles. He proceeds to tell his friends the story, who in turn believe him, as the story is plausible.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Roses are Red Toilets are Blue Get out of Me way I Need to POO!

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Q: Whats the longest book in the library A: Understanding Women

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Knock knock What?

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Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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What do you call a stupid anti-joke? Stupid.

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Hi

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Which is longer? A rope...

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Why did the dog bite justin beiber? Why not?

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A black man rode down the street on a bicycle.

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady who got hit by a bus.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How do you fit four gays on a barstool? You turn it upside down

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Leslie's husband admitted to being gay, which came to the surprise of no one, seeing as Leslie is a man.

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you ever hear the joke about the rabbi, the pope and an elephant? No? well its a good one...

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When a suicide-bomber went to heaven what did Allah give him apart from 72 virgins? 72 mothers in law.

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There is a man who is half black half Jewish. He walking up a hill really fast. What happens to him? Answer: The Jewish side of his body will fall off and the black side will walk away.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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