How do you make a momma bird not fly back to its nest? Burn it down!!

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

There was a man workin at the supermarket, when a cow with a hat entered. He realized that it couldn't be really happening and had to be a dream. Effectively: he was dreaming. Actually, he was in jail, and his execution was scheduled for that day.

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ghuieruioytidhfdvbshdkhfjh

Saying "MY MOM" everyone time ur asked a question

Q:What did the man say when he walked into a bar. A: Ouch

What do you call a hobo that lives a in a box. A hobo

Ok, for Christ’s sake, these sh!tty “animals falling out of a tree” jokes are NOT funny; they were never funny and they’re certainly not getting any funnier with you rehashing them every 5 posts. Fncking stop it.

Me: f*** off Asshole: YOUR MOM! Me: -is dead.

A black teenager drives an Escalade His father is a prominent lawyer and his mother is a neuroscientist.

Do you play piano? No

theres a fork in a drawer half way open and a knife in a cup on the counter. how does the knife get into the drawer, it cant knife are incapable of moving

How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHO CARES!!

What rhymes with popscicle and weighs at least 300 pounds? Your mom. I lied about the popsicle.

why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

Why didn't the boy have any toes? - Because he did not have any legs.

Dave: My wife just gave birth! The baby is doing good. John: You mean doing well?

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

What is better than a cat? Nothing

My children are huge mistakes.

Why did the dude fall? Because he tripped over a stick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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