Your mother was a hamster, And your father smelt of ElderBerries!

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What do you call white people that live in a trailer park? Residents.

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Q: What do you call a Muslim controlling a plane? A: A pilot.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What is blue and not heavy? Light blue!

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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What did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing. They're muffins.

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Q: What's worse than eating cauliflowers? A: Eating cauliflowers and getting raped by Jerry Sandusky at the age of 7.

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Straight men can be bronies.

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Why couldn't the 1 year old talk? It's a 1 year old, idiot, it can't!

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Why is a building called a building when it's already been built? My pinky is pink and my liver helps me live.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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This is an anti joke with a difference. It's funny.

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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