Did you hear about the deaf kid? He didn't.

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Your mom.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl pee? Because the "p" is silent

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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How do you know if a black man was in your house while you weren't home? When you let them enter to babysit your children.

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So a deaf man is listening to the radio.

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How did the man jumping out of the plane at 33,000 feet survive? Because he had a parachute

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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whats uglyand cry , and screams mommy ... you after i bitch slap you

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Did you hear about the alter boy that wasn't molested by a priest?

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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why did the cow eat a computer? Why? Who knows

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What's the difference between a pen and a tiger? Believe it or not they are both not a cantaloupe.

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your going to die

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They should introduce a filtering system on here. That way any repeated jokes, or idiots taking up a page with a copy and paste routine, could be simply erased by those who are bored with them or find them irritating. [L]

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had herpes.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no arms or legs? A: A dog

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your life

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

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What did the mexican fireman call his twin sons? nothing. they were stillborn

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A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde are playing hide-and-seek. Hide-and-seek is a fun game, so they probably had a great time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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