i don't get it...none of these are funny.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did you call a bench full of white guys? The NBA

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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Why did the old man fall off his bicycle? Because somebody threw a fridge at him.

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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knock knock who's there Berry Joe Berry Joe who? I just told you, Berry Joe. oh.

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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One day a man was out fishing in the lake. Suddenly, there was a huge fish pulling his fishing pole so hard it almost broke. Luckily, he managed to pull the fish into his boat. It was the biggest fish he had ever caught and he brought it home for his family to see. They were all very proud.

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(This is a joke made up by the young son of a friend of mine many years ago. It is still one of my favorite jokes.) Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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There is a bomb. It blows up and kills 26 people.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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Friend: "Hey man! Did you hear about the kid who bought the last hamster at the pet shop? Other friend: "No..." Friend: "Oh, well he shot himself last night."

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Getting killed in a plane crash.

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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bill is either dead or alive. bill is not dead therefore bill is alive

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What has 3 legs? An abnormal human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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