A fish walks into a bar Fish dont walk

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What did the boy with no eyes get for Christmas? Glasses

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Why can't Albert Einstein hold down a job? Because he's dead.

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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Whats black and has no ring? LeBron James

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Why did the Asian guy's condom slip? Because the condom was put on the opposite way.

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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Knock knock. Who's there? Come in.

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what did the dirty homeless girl get for Christmas -A DILDO

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Tiger Woods isn't a Tiger, He's a lion cheeta.

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

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- What's the difference between a squirrel? - It can neither fly.

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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What did the man say to his doctor? AHHH AHHHHH OH MY GOD! AHHH OUCH HOLY SHIT FUUUUUUCK!!!... ____/\_____/\_____/\___________________

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Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

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Why did the black family cry? Tyler Perry died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops